So today I have come to the realization that money sucks! Money makes the world go round and it is used as a bartering tool for goods and services. But seriously I can't stand it. It makes me angry, frustrated and even gave me a stomach ache today.
When my husband gets his paycheck it just seems to disappear like water evaporates. Like we never had it to begin with. The world seems to be more motivated by greed these days than anything. What happened to love and family and all the other stuff that life is supposed to be about?
I know I shouldn't let it get to me but it does and Neil and I need to change our situation because we put ourselves here TOGETHER. Not one more than the other. So I have been looking for jobs that I can do here at home. Because the cycle will never seem to end if I go back to work.
If I do go back to work I have to put the 2 kids into daycare and if I have to put the kids in daycare what am I going to be working for other than to pay for the kids to go to daycare?! Not to mention that they will end up sick and around all the germs of other kids and everything else. That's all I really need is 2 kids that are always sick and crabby in turn making me crabby and then making Neil crabby. At this point daycare is not an option.
When I went back to work after I had Addison I felt like I was missing out on so much. So many of her firsts. I don't want to make the same mistake with Brayden. So I guess the only real thing that I can do is continue to look for online work from home jobs that are not scams.
If I take a step back and exclude the money issue, my life I don't think could get much better. I have a husband and 2 kids that mean so much more to me than anything else ever could.
It is such a cliche when I hear people say stuff like "I can't imagine not having my kids" or " I would laydown my own life for my kids." Well I hate to say it but I can agree with these statements now that I am a mother. I guess I really never knew what a love like this felt like till I had my kids. It is so crazy how so many things in my life and in my way of thinking have changed just because of my kids. After I had Addison and Brayden all I could do was stare at them and think to myself "wow they are really ours." When I look at my kids (there isn't a day that goes by) that there is no doubt in my mind that there is a God or Higher Power (whatever you want to call it). These kids are a gift and such a blessing to my life and to the lives of everyone that they meet. From their closest relatives to the stranger that they smile at while walking through wal-mart.
Just to look into their eyes & see the smiles on their faces is enough for me to know that God existis & that in their world as children everything is the way it should be... Perfect for them....
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